do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
