I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
