Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
