So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
