I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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