And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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