why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize