i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
