Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
