Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
