He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
