You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
