so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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