I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
