And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
