My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
