Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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