I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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