He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
