Betty ford says i'm here all night
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
