I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
