I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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