I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
