Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sorry about my life...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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