Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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