it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
