Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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