this beer tastes like vomit already
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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