Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
