Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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