i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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