Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
