that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
