My nipple is on Facebook.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
