Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
