We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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