Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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