If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
