Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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