what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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