I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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