Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
