i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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