Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
