Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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