Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
