On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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