4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize