I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
