Umm I'm too high to move.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
