Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
