Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
