Got a toothbrush?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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