I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
