who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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