i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
