White coat. Heels.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
