Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I smell stomach acid.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
