she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
