i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
