It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
