Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
