3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
