I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
