I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
